There are some phases of family life we wish we never had to go through. Some are inevitable, but still acutely painful, such as the eventual loss of health and life. Others we never imagined possible. Who would have dreamed that our wedding days, standing before friends and family, also could be the inaugurations of adultery, addiction, or domestic violence? But it happens all the time. This week’s lesson ponders some of the more sobering realities of family life that we will be exposed to, and addresses them through biblical and Christian counsel.
There is no doubt that our physical health and well-being are a concern to our Lord. When we suffer, He suffers: “Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows” (Isa. 53:4). We might have thought that when the Messiah came to the world, He would have had more pressing responsibilities than to spend time healing individuals, but we would be wrong. That is exactly where He spent most of His time. We can assume His heart has not changed in that respect. Therefore, His ever-present concern and care for the sick should forever stamp the ministries of those who take His name.
“I trusted you!” The tone in which one reads those words betrays the reality that they are often spoken following grievous acts of betrayal. Jesus Himself knows what it is like to be betrayed (Luke 22:48) and can empathize with all those who have had their trust dashed. Even His words concerning adultery (Matt. 5:28), though often read in light of personal holiness, can be seen as an attempt at preserving spousal commitment by wisely preventing in the heart that which the law condemns in the body.
Part II: Commentary
A Suffering God Worldview
At some level, we all must intellectually wrestle with the persistent pain and suffering in the world. Joseph’s first serious wrestling was an informal memorial service in which he had to look into the eyes of a mother and tell her about a God who was present when her son (Joseph’s best friend in elementary school) suffered brain damage in a car accident and then later ended his very difficult life through suicide. Joseph wasn’t yet 20, and neither was his best friend. It is often hard to know what to say in such moments. No doubt it wasn’t easy for Joseph. But it would have been harder if the God whom Joseph was sharing with his best friend’s mother hadn’t watched His own Son hang and die on a cross. Our God has drunk the dregs of personal pain and suffering and therefore is experientially qualified to speak to our pain. He stands unique among all “gods” in this respect.
As this lesson moves through times of loss that bring us face to face with a range of suffering, it is crucial that the true God—not a god who has insulated himself from suffering—be present in the discussion. In The Cross of Christ (Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press, 2006) the late churchman John R. W. Stott famously noted, “I could never myself believe in God, if it were not for the cross. . . . In the real world of pain, how could one worship a God who was immune to it?” He continues to say that our sufferings become more manageable in light of His. How true.
Encouraging Examples
Annie Johnson Flint, and the beauty that poured from her arthritic fingers, ministers to us all when we see the loss of health in a loved one or feel it in ourselves. She was orphaned as a child and eventually acquired severe rheumatoid arthritis, which twisted and racked her body with pain. She developed cancer, became incontinent, and later struggled with blindness. Her pain and the sores on her body were so intense that her biographer said that the last time he had seen her, she had had seven or eight pillows cushioning her body. Yet, from this crippled daughter of God came this hymn of praise:
He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;
To added affliction He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
When thinking of the loss of life, we should remember the passing of Henry White, Ellen White’s oldest son. He had contracted a cold, developed pneumonia, and become deathly ill. Ellen White recounts a touching moment with her son: “When Henry White, our eldest son, lay dying, he said, ‘A bed of pain is a precious place when we have the presence of Jesus.’ ”—Selected Messages, book 2, p. 274. In December of 1863, James and Ellen White lost their “sweet singer.” He had requested to be buried next to his little brother, John Herbert, so that they could come up together in the resurrection. He was only 16 years old when he died, but he left an endowment born from experience: the presence of Jesus and the promise of the resurrection. These twin gifts make all things bearable.
The Root of Violence and Adultery
Whether one is a Christian or not, Jesus of Nazareth should be commended by all for His penchant at exposing the roots of human evil. Most people can recognize social problems, such as domestic violence and adultery, but fail at proposing rigorous enough solutions that make a significant difference. Jesus, on the other hand, had no qualms in exposing, and then severing, the root of these vices. As the Bible study guide touches on the subject of family violence and infidelity, we would do well to heed Jesus’ penetrating insight on these subjects.
Jesus traces the seeds of marital infidelity and murder (the apex of violence) to activities that all of us have personally participated in (Matt. 5:21, 22, 27, 28). The sobering reality is that the lustful eye and the angry spirit, something we’ve all experienced, places each of us on a trajectory that, if allowed to continue unchecked, terminates in adultery and murder. If that sounds too extreme, consider Jesus’ appeal to the highest court in the land, the Sanhedrin, and eventually to “hell fire” for simply the angry utterances of contempt toward another (Matt. 5:22). This language is not hyperbole but the brute realism that murder and adultery are the oak trees within the acorns of lust and anger.
Jesus is both preventive and preemptive when dealing with sexual sin and murder (extreme violence). He brings the “battle to the enemy” at its incipient phase (i.e., the lustful look and the angry word). He is not so naive as to wait to deter the violence of a man half crazed with anger or to wait to expect sexual faithfulness from one completely given over to lustful gawking or imaginations. Imagine a society (family, church, and state) that took the words of Jesus seriously and inculcated from an early age a sense of dread or shame at ever entertaining unchecked anger, and that also disparaged any sensuality that fostered lustful thoughts or looks.
Tragic Testimony
One would hope that homes proclaiming to follow Jesus—Christian homes—would be exempt from domestic violence. But on the contrary, Benjamin Keyes, with Regent University’s Center for Trauma Studies, deplores the fact that “in Christian marriages we have a much greater frequency of domestic violence than we do in non-Christian homes.”—In Charlene Aaron, “Domestic Abuse in the Church: ‘A Silent Epidemic,’ ” Feb. 5, 2006, retrieved from http://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/us/2016/January/Combating-Domestic-Abuse-in-the-Church. Surprised? Perhaps stories such as Marleen’s need to be made front and center: “A woman I’ll call ‘Marleen’ went to her pastor for help. ‘My husband is abusing me,’ she told him. ‘Last week he knocked me down and kicked me. He broke one of my ribs.’ Marleen’s pastor was sympathetic. He prayed with Marleen—and then he sent her home. ‘Try to be more submissive,’ he advised. ‘After all, your husband is your spiritual head.’ Two weeks later, Marleen was dead—killed by an abusive husband. Her church could not believe it. Marleen’s husband was a Sunday School teacher and a deacon. How could he have done such a thing?”—Chuck Colson, “Domestic Violence Within the Church: The Ugly Truth,” Oct. 20, 2009, retrieved from http://www.christianheadlines.com/news/domestic-violence-within-the-church-the-ugly-truth-11602500.html.
Remind your class that in this week’s lesson the authors who highlighted domestic violence are fully aware that their audience is composed of the Christians sitting in your Sabbath School. This lesson study provides an opportunity to take what has been considered a “silent epidemic” and to expose it, encouraging those under its abuse to seek help today.
Part III: Life Application
Even though this week’s lesson has been occupied with the more somber experiences of life, it touches on what is really happening in homes of church members. It is not always a “happy Sabbath” for some on Sabbath morning. Your Sabbath School class provides opportunity for those who are hurting to share and seek help. Watch for those moments. Discuss a few of the practical ways that churches can become havens for families in trouble. Here are some points to get the discussion started.
One way to create a healing community within a church is to connect those who have suffered in the past with those suffering in the present. Even those suffering in the present can minister to others suffering in the present. Ask the class to think of ways the local church could accomplish this goal, inspiring them with this quote: “Those who have borne the greatest sorrows are frequently the ones who carry the greatest comfort to others, bringing sunshine wherever they go. Such ones have been chastened and sweetened by their afflictions; they did not lose confidence in God when trouble assailed them, but clung closer to His protecting love.”—Selected Messages, book 2, p. 274.
Violence in families is a problem for so many reasons. But a particularly pernicious one is the fact it is often concealed in silence and denial. Just as the Bible is transparent about the abuses of its notable families (Gen. 4:8, 37:17–36, 2 Sam. 11:4, 13:14), violence of all stripes, within families, needs to be addressed for the sake of safety, accountability, and one’s Christian commitment. How can the local church create avenues for victims of abuse to find refuge within its walls?
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There are some phases of family life we wish we never had to go through. Some are inevitable, but still acutely painful, such as the eventual loss of health and life. Others we never imagined possible. Who would have dreamed that our wedding days, standing before friends and family, also could be the inaugurations of adultery, addiction, or domestic violence? But it happens all the time. This week’s lesson ponders some of the more sobering realities of family life that we will be exposed to, and addresses them through biblical and Christian counsel.
There is no doubt that our physical health and well-being are a concern to our Lord. When we suffer, He suffers: “Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows” (Isa. 53:4). We might have thought that when the Messiah came to the world, He would have had more pressing responsibilities than to spend time healing individuals, but we would be wrong. That is exactly where He spent most of His time. We can assume His heart has not changed in that respect. Therefore, His ever-present concern and care for the sick should forever stamp the ministries of those who take His name.
“I trusted you!” The tone in which one reads those words betrays the reality that they are often spoken following grievous acts of betrayal. Jesus Himself knows what it is like to be betrayed (Luke 22:48) and can empathize with all those who have had their trust dashed. Even His words concerning adultery (Matt. 5:28), though often read in light of personal holiness, can be seen as an attempt at preserving spousal commitment by wisely preventing in the heart that which the law condemns in the body.
Part II: Commentary
A Suffering God Worldview
At some level, we all must intellectually wrestle with the persistent pain and suffering in the world. Joseph’s first serious wrestling was an informal memorial service in which he had to look into the eyes of a mother and tell her about a God who was present when her son (Joseph’s best friend in elementary school) suffered brain damage in a car accident and then later ended his very difficult life through suicide. Joseph wasn’t yet 20, and neither was his best friend. It is often hard to know what to say in such moments. No doubt it wasn’t easy for Joseph. But it would have been harder if the God whom Joseph was sharing with his best friend’s mother hadn’t watched His own Son hang and die on a cross. Our God has drunk the dregs of personal pain and suffering and therefore is experientially qualified to speak to our pain. He stands unique among all “gods” in this respect.
As this lesson moves through times of loss that bring us face to face with a range of suffering, it is crucial that the true God—not a god who has insulated himself from suffering—be present in the discussion. In The Cross of Christ (Downers Grove, Ill.: InterVarsity Press, 2006) the late churchman John R. W. Stott famously noted, “I could never myself believe in God, if it were not for the cross. . . . In the real world of pain, how could one worship a God who was immune to it?” He continues to say that our sufferings become more manageable in light of His. How true.
Encouraging Examples
Annie Johnson Flint, and the beauty that poured from her arthritic fingers, ministers to us all when we see the loss of health in a loved one or feel it in ourselves. She was orphaned as a child and eventually acquired severe rheumatoid arthritis, which twisted and racked her body with pain. She developed cancer, became incontinent, and later struggled with blindness. Her pain and the sores on her body were so intense that her biographer said that the last time he had seen her, she had had seven or eight pillows cushioning her body. Yet, from this crippled daughter of God came this hymn of praise:
He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;
To added affliction He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.
When thinking of the loss of life, we should remember the passing of Henry White, Ellen White’s oldest son. He had contracted a cold, developed pneumonia, and become deathly ill. Ellen White recounts a touching moment with her son: “When Henry White, our eldest son, lay dying, he said, ‘A bed of pain is a precious place when we have the presence of Jesus.’ ”—Selected Messages, book 2, p. 274. In December of 1863, James and Ellen White lost their “sweet singer.” He had requested to be buried next to his little brother, John Herbert, so that they could come up together in the resurrection. He was only 16 years old when he died, but he left an endowment born from experience: the presence of Jesus and the promise of the resurrection. These twin gifts make all things bearable.
The Root of Violence and Adultery
Whether one is a Christian or not, Jesus of Nazareth should be commended by all for His penchant at exposing the roots of human evil. Most people can recognize social problems, such as domestic violence and adultery, but fail at proposing rigorous enough solutions that make a significant difference. Jesus, on the other hand, had no qualms in exposing, and then severing, the root of these vices. As the Bible study guide touches on the subject of family violence and infidelity, we would do well to heed Jesus’ penetrating insight on these subjects.
Jesus traces the seeds of marital infidelity and murder (the apex of violence) to activities that all of us have personally participated in (Matt. 5:21, 22, 27, 28). The sobering reality is that the lustful eye and the angry spirit, something we’ve all experienced, places each of us on a trajectory that, if allowed to continue unchecked, terminates in adultery and murder. If that sounds too extreme, consider Jesus’ appeal to the highest court in the land, the Sanhedrin, and eventually to “hell fire” for simply the angry utterances of contempt toward another (Matt. 5:22). This language is not hyperbole but the brute realism that murder and adultery are the oak trees within the acorns of lust and anger.
Jesus is both preventive and preemptive when dealing with sexual sin and murder (extreme violence). He brings the “battle to the enemy” at its incipient phase (i.e., the lustful look and the angry word). He is not so naive as to wait to deter the violence of a man half crazed with anger or to wait to expect sexual faithfulness from one completely given over to lustful gawking or imaginations. Imagine a society (family, church, and state) that took the words of Jesus seriously and inculcated from an early age a sense of dread or shame at ever entertaining unchecked anger, and that also disparaged any sensuality that fostered lustful thoughts or looks.
Tragic Testimony
One would hope that homes proclaiming to follow Jesus—Christian homes—would be exempt from domestic violence. But on the contrary, Benjamin Keyes, with Regent University’s Center for Trauma Studies, deplores the fact that “in Christian marriages we have a much greater frequency of domestic violence than we do in non-Christian homes.”—In Charlene Aaron, “Domestic Abuse in the Church: ‘A Silent Epidemic,’ ” Feb. 5, 2006, retrieved from http://www1.cbn.com/cbnnews/us/2016/January/Combating-Domestic-Abuse-in-the-Church. Surprised? Perhaps stories such as Marleen’s need to be made front and center: “A woman I’ll call ‘Marleen’ went to her pastor for help. ‘My husband is abusing me,’ she told him. ‘Last week he knocked me down and kicked me. He broke one of my ribs.’ Marleen’s pastor was sympathetic. He prayed with Marleen—and then he sent her home. ‘Try to be more submissive,’ he advised. ‘After all, your husband is your spiritual head.’ Two weeks later, Marleen was dead—killed by an abusive husband. Her church could not believe it. Marleen’s husband was a Sunday School teacher and a deacon. How could he have done such a thing?”—Chuck Colson, “Domestic Violence Within the Church: The Ugly Truth,” Oct. 20, 2009, retrieved from http://www.christianheadlines.com/news/domestic-violence-within-the-church-the-ugly-truth-11602500.html.
Remind your class that in this week’s lesson the authors who highlighted domestic violence are fully aware that their audience is composed of the Christians sitting in your Sabbath School. This lesson study provides an opportunity to take what has been considered a “silent epidemic” and to expose it, encouraging those under its abuse to seek help today.
Part III: Life Application
Even though this week’s lesson has been occupied with the more somber experiences of life, it touches on what is really happening in homes of church members. It is not always a “happy Sabbath” for some on Sabbath morning. Your Sabbath School class provides opportunity for those who are hurting to share and seek help. Watch for those moments. Discuss a few of the practical ways that churches can become havens for families in trouble. Here are some points to get the discussion started.