Colossians 3:18–4:1 contains a series of household rules. Paul summarizes how wives and husbands, children and parents, and slaves and masters are supposed to behave in light of the gospel message. As we will see, Paul is not one-sided in his discussion. He has specific instructions for all these groups and expects them to fulfill their duties as a demonstration of their faithfulness to God. Thus, wives are expected to submit to their husbands “as is fitting in the Lord” (Col. 3:18, NKJV); children must obey their parents because “this is well pleasing to the Lord” (Col. 3:20, NKJV); and bondservants must obey their “masters according to the flesh,” “fearing God” (Col. 3:22, NKJV).
Interestingly, “in each category, the party typically viewed as more vulnerable is addressed first. The commands to the vulnerable party are helpfully paired with specific commands to the one having more power. Paul calls on the powerful ones to not abuse their power but to use it wisely. This allows the vulnerable to more willingly submit to those in authority.”—Douglas Mangum, ed., “The Christian Home ([Col.] 3:18–4:1),” Lexham Context Commentary: New Testament (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2020). After addressing these issues, Paul turns to specific exhortations regarding the external influence that church members, through prayer, wisdom, and seasoned speech, may exert by presenting their faith to outsiders.
This week’s lesson emphasizes two major themes:
Biblical principles concerning both family and work relations;
Instructions about vigilant prayer, the wise walk, and gracious speech.
Part II: Commentary
Biblically Based Family and Work Relations
In Colossians 3:18–4:1, Paul addresses three pairs of human relationships, with specific exhortations for each one. Notably, the first group mentioned pertains to wives and husbands. This arrangement is not accidental, as Paul wants to emphasize that marriage is the basis for all other types of human relationships. The relationship between a man and a woman in marriage is such a crucial topic that it is referred to by Paul several times throughout his letters (1 Cor. 7:1–7, 27–31; 1 Cor. 11:3; and Eph. 5:21–33).
Relationship Between Wives and Husbands
Paul’s command for wives to submit to their husbands (Col. 3:18) has been a matter of much debate. The parallel passage in Ephesians 5:22 is almost synonymous: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (NKJV). However, before making this statement, Paul first says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph. 5:21, NIV). The verb “submit” in Ephesians 5:22 does not occur in the original text in Greek but is correctly supplied, based on its occurrence in Ephesians 5:21. This provision suggests that Ephesians 5:22 is connected with Ephesians 5:21 and should be interpreted in that context. Thus, in a sense, not only are wives called to submit to their husbands, but husbands are also called to submit to their wives “out of reverence for Christ” (Eph. 5:21, ESV).
Paul’s command for wives to submit to their husbands must not be interpreted in the sense of women’s inferiority. Rather, “what is involved here is that in voluntarily subordinating herself to her husband the wife is to see this as done in subordination to the Lord, because in the marriage relationship her husband reflects the Lord while she reflects the Church.”—Andrew T. Lincoln, Ephesians, Word Biblical Commentary, vol. 42 (Dallas, TX: Word, Incorporated, 1990), p. 368.
Notably, in both Ephesians and Colossians, the expected attitude of husbands toward their wives is the same: “Husbands, love your wives” (Eph. 5:25, Col. 3:19, NKJV). While the command to wives is almost synonymous in the parallel passages—“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Eph. 5:22, NKJV) and “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (Col. 3:18, NKJV)—the command to husbands shows a noteworthy distinction: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Eph. 5:25, NKJV; see also Eph. 5:28), and “Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them” (Col. 3:19, NKJV). In Ephesians, husbands are expected to demonstrate a sacrificial love, just as Jesus did for the church.
In Colossians, the command for husbands to love their wives is coupled with the additional instruction not to “be bitter toward them.” The Greek word is pikrainō, which is cognate to the word pikros, used to portray “a characteristic regularly attributed to a tyrannical overlordship.”—James D. G. Dunn, The Epistles to the Colossians and to Philemon: A Commentary on the Greek Text, New International Greek Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Carlisle: William B. Eerdmans Publishing; Paternoster Press, 1996), p. 249. Wives are expected to submit themselves voluntarily to their husbands, as they would submit themselves to the Lord.
Relationship Between Children and Parents
Relationship Between Children and Parents
Paul’s instructions for children and parents are based in reciprocal responsibilities, similar to his approach with wives and husbands. The command for children to obey their parents (Col. 3:20) is rooted in the fifth commandment. This basis is evident in Ephesians, in which, after giving a virtually identical command (Eph. 6:1), Paul quotes Exodus 20:12 (see Eph. 6:2, 3). Children are expected to be not only obedient to their parents but also a source of joy to them (Prov. 15:20, Prov. 23:24, etc.).
In turn, parents must not provoke their children. There is debate as to what Paul meant by using the term “provoke” (Col. 3:21). Nevertheless, Ellen G. White provides insight into its meaning when commenting on the words of Colossians 3:21: “Satan is well pleased when parents irritate their children by speaking harsh, angry words. Paul has given a caution on this point: ‘Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.’ They may be very wrong, but you can not lead them to the right by losing patience with them.”—Advent Review and Sabbath Herald, January 24, 1907.
Relationship Between Slaves and Masters
Finally, Paul addresses the relationship between slaves and masters. Both slaves and masters are expected to fulfill their duties in light of their responsibilities before God. Slaves are given two commands. First, they should obey their “masters . . . fearing God” (Col. 3:22, NKJV). The phrase “fearing God” is commonly understood as the basis for the second command, “since you fear God.” Slaves or bondservants should keep in mind that, ultimately, their service to an earthly master is representative of their service to the Lord Jesus (Col. 3:23, 24).
Contrary to what many people may think, slavery in the first century differed considerably from the form practiced in the Western World in recent times. Differences include the following: In New Testament times, “racial factors played no role; education was greatly encouraged (some slaves were better educated than their owners) and enhanced a slave’s value; many slaves carried out sensitive and highly responsible social functions; slaves could own property (including other slaves!); their religious and cultural traditions were the same as those of the freeborn; no laws prohibited public assembly of slaves; and (perhaps above all) the majority of urban and domestic slaves could legitimately anticipate being emancipated by the age of 30.”—S. Scott Bartchy, “Slavery: New Testament,” The Anchor Yale Bible Dictionary, ed. David Noel Freedman et al., vol. 6 (New York: Doubleday, 1992), p. 66.
It is important to note that Paul is not legitimizing slavery, which we know is a reprehensible practice in any context whatsoever. He is simply acknowledging a feature of the first-century culture. An eventual abolition of first-century slavery would have caused drastic economic repercussions, even for the slaves themselves. In this context, Paul provides a sharp exhortation to slave owners, urging them to treat those working for them in a just and fair manner (Col. 4:1), no matter how hard this may be for us today to understand.
Vigilant Prayer, Wise Walk, and Gracious Speech
It is noteworthy that the exhortations in Colossians 4:2–6 follow Paul’s discussion of family and work relations. In this new section, Paul reveals his concern that the church community should bear good testimony to the external public. This sequence of themes suggests that for the gospel to influence outsiders, it must first shape the conduct of insiders, particularly within households. According to Paul’s instructions in this passage, three steps must be followed for the gospel to reach outsiders in a powerful manner:
First, vigilant prayer (Col. 4:2–4). If we want to reach people for Christ, praying is an excellent starting point. Better yet, prayer is the best way to start! Paul even asked the church to pray, not only for themselves but also for him and Timothy, so they would have an open door for preaching.
Second, wise walk (Col. 4:5). As the New International Version puts it, “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.” The verb translated as “walk” in the NKJV is regularly used in the New Testament to indicate conduct. Not infrequently, it is rendered as “to live” or “to behave” (see, for instance, Mark 7:5, Rom. 13:13, and Col. 2:6 in the NIV).
Third, gracious speech (Col. 4:6). By gracious speech, Paul likely meant qualities such as courtesy, sweetness, and kindness, so as to cause a good impression on outsiders and attract them to the gospel of Jesus.
Part III: Life Application
Meditate upon the following themes. Then ask your students to answer the questions at the end of the section.
“A family is not simply a group of people dwelling under one roof. By that definition any hotel or prison could qualify. A family is not a group of people bearing the same name. Persons with the same name may live all over the nation and be total strangers. . . . Family is not simply people but a spirit of oneness. It is a spirit produced through loving and longing, laughter and tears, shared joy and sorrow, mutual struggle and respect, faith and joy and sorrow, . . . faith and faithfulness, and a common pursuit of worthy goals.”—Herschel H. Hobbs, My Favorite Illustrations (Nashville, TN: Broadman Press, 1990), p. 98. Our churches, as extensions of our homes, should be places where one can find love, comfort, respect, and a deep sense of belonging.
Jesus said, “ ‘A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another’ ” (John 13:34, 35, NKJV). The New Testament authors took this very seriously (see Rom. 13:8, Gal. 5:14, 1 Thess. 4:9, Heb. 13:1, James 2:8, 1 Pet. 1:22, 1 Pet. 4:8, 1 John 3:23, 2 John 5). As Jesus did, Paul and James also related the practice of love with fulfilling the law (see Rom. 13:8, 10; Gal. 5:14; and James 2:8). Our households should be places where everyone reveals this love through prayer, a wise walk with the Lord, and gracious speech.
Questions:
In what ways is your church an extension of your home? What can your church do to foster more of a family spirit among its members?
Our love for one another shows that we are Christ’s disciples. How can our churches and households reveal this love more fully?
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Key Text: Colossians 4:6
Study Focus: Col. 3:18–4:6
Colossians 3:18–4:1 contains a series of household rules. Paul summarizes how wives and husbands, children and parents, and slaves and masters are supposed to behave in light of the gospel message. As we will see, Paul is not one-sided in his discussion. He has specific instructions for all these groups and expects them to fulfill their duties as a demonstration of their faithfulness to God. Thus, wives are expected to submit to their husbands “as is fitting in the Lord” (Col. 3:18, NKJV); children must obey their parents because “this is well pleasing to the Lord” (Col. 3:20, NKJV); and bondservants must obey their “masters according to the flesh,” “fearing God” (Col. 3:22, NKJV).
Interestingly, “in each category, the party typically viewed as more vulnerable is addressed first. The commands to the vulnerable party are helpfully paired with specific commands to the one having more power. Paul calls on the powerful ones to not abuse their power but to use it wisely. This allows the vulnerable to more willingly submit to those in authority.”—Douglas Mangum, ed., “The Christian Home ([Col.] 3:18–4:1),” Lexham Context Commentary: New Testament (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2020). After addressing these issues, Paul turns to specific exhortations regarding the external influence that church members, through prayer, wisdom, and seasoned speech, may exert by presenting their faith to outsiders.
This week’s lesson emphasizes two major themes:
Biblical principles concerning both family and work relations;
Instructions about vigilant prayer, the wise walk, and gracious speech.
Part II: Commentary
Biblically Based Family and Work Relations
In Colossians 3:18–4:1, Paul addresses three pairs of human relationships, with specific exhortations for each one. Notably, the first group mentioned pertains to wives and husbands. This arrangement is not accidental, as Paul wants to emphasize that marriage is the basis for all other types of human relationships. The relationship between a man and a woman in marriage is such a crucial topic that it is referred to by Paul several times throughout his letters (1 Cor. 7:1–7, 27–31; 1 Cor. 11:3; and Eph. 5:21–33).
Relationship Between Wives and Husbands
Paul’s command for wives to submit to their husbands (Col. 3:18) has been a matter of much debate. The parallel passage in Ephesians 5:22 is almost synonymous: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (NKJV). However, before making this statement, Paul first says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph. 5:21, NIV). The verb “submit” in Ephesians 5:22 does not occur in the original text in Greek but is correctly supplied, based on its occurrence in Ephesians 5:21. This provision suggests that Ephesians 5:22 is connected with Ephesians 5:21 and should be interpreted in that context. Thus, in a sense, not only are wives called to submit to their husbands, but husbands are also called to submit to their wives “out of reverence for Christ” (Eph. 5:21, ESV).
Paul’s command for wives to submit to their husbands must not be interpreted in the sense of women’s inferiority. Rather, “what is involved here is that in voluntarily subordinating herself to her husband the wife is to see this as done in subordination to the Lord, because in the marriage relationship her husband reflects the Lord while she reflects the Church.”—Andrew T. Lincoln, Ephesians, Word Biblical Commentary, vol. 42 (Dallas, TX: Word, Incorporated, 1990), p. 368.
Notably, in both Ephesians and Colossians, the expected attitude of husbands toward their wives is the same: “Husbands, love your wives” (Eph. 5:25, Col. 3:19, NKJV). While the command to wives is almost synonymous in the parallel passages—“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Eph. 5:22, NKJV) and “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (Col. 3:18, NKJV)—the command to husbands shows a noteworthy distinction: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Eph. 5:25, NKJV; see also Eph. 5:28), and “Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them” (Col. 3:19, NKJV). In Ephesians, husbands are expected to demonstrate a sacrificial love, just as Jesus did for the church.
In Colossians, the command for husbands to love their wives is coupled with the additional instruction not to “be bitter toward them.” The Greek word is pikrainō, which is cognate to the word pikros, used to portray “a characteristic regularly attributed to a tyrannical overlordship.”—James D. G. Dunn, The Epistles to the Colossians and to Philemon: A Commentary on the Greek Text, New International Greek Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Carlisle: William B. Eerdmans Publishing; Paternoster Press, 1996), p. 249. Wives are expected to submit themselves voluntarily to their husbands, as they would submit themselves to the Lord.
Relationship Between Children and Parents
Relationship Between Children and Parents
Paul’s instructions for children and parents are based in reciprocal responsibilities, similar to his approach with wives and husbands. The command for children to obey their parents (Col. 3:20) is rooted in the fifth commandment. This basis is evident in Ephesians, in which, after giving a virtually identical command (Eph. 6:1), Paul quotes Exodus 20:12 (see Eph. 6:2, 3). Children are expected to be not only obedient to their parents but also a source of joy to them (Prov. 15:20, Prov. 23:24, etc.).
In turn, parents must not provoke their children. There is debate as to what Paul meant by using the term “provoke” (Col. 3:21). Nevertheless, Ellen G. White provides insight into its meaning when commenting on the words of Colossians 3:21: “Satan is well pleased when parents irritate their children by speaking harsh, angry words. Paul has given a caution on this point: ‘Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.’ They may be very wrong, but you can not lead them to the right by losing patience with them.”—Advent Review and Sabbath Herald, January 24, 1907.
Relationship Between Slaves and Masters
Finally, Paul addresses the relationship between slaves and masters. Both slaves and masters are expected to fulfill their duties in light of their responsibilities before God. Slaves are given two commands. First, they should obey their “masters . . . fearing God” (Col. 3:22, NKJV). The phrase “fearing God” is commonly understood as the basis for the second command, “since you fear God.” Slaves or bondservants should keep in mind that, ultimately, their service to an earthly master is representative of their service to the Lord Jesus (Col. 3:23, 24).
Contrary to what many people may think, slavery in the first century differed considerably from the form practiced in the Western World in recent times. Differences include the following: In New Testament times, “racial factors played no role; education was greatly encouraged (some slaves were better educated than their owners) and enhanced a slave’s value; many slaves carried out sensitive and highly responsible social functions; slaves could own property (including other slaves!); their religious and cultural traditions were the same as those of the freeborn; no laws prohibited public assembly of slaves; and (perhaps above all) the majority of urban and domestic slaves could legitimately anticipate being emancipated by the age of 30.”—S. Scott Bartchy, “Slavery: New Testament,” The Anchor Yale Bible Dictionary, ed. David Noel Freedman et al., vol. 6 (New York: Doubleday, 1992), p. 66.
It is important to note that Paul is not legitimizing slavery, which we know is a reprehensible practice in any context whatsoever. He is simply acknowledging a feature of the first-century culture. An eventual abolition of first-century slavery would have caused drastic economic repercussions, even for the slaves themselves. In this context, Paul provides a sharp exhortation to slave owners, urging them to treat those working for them in a just and fair manner (Col. 4:1), no matter how hard this may be for us today to understand.
Vigilant Prayer, Wise Walk, and Gracious Speech
It is noteworthy that the exhortations in Colossians 4:2–6 follow Paul’s discussion of family and work relations. In this new section, Paul reveals his concern that the church community should bear good testimony to the external public. This sequence of themes suggests that for the gospel to influence outsiders, it must first shape the conduct of insiders, particularly within households. According to Paul’s instructions in this passage, three steps must be followed for the gospel to reach outsiders in a powerful manner:
First, vigilant prayer (Col. 4:2–4). If we want to reach people for Christ, praying is an excellent starting point. Better yet, prayer is the best way to start! Paul even asked the church to pray, not only for themselves but also for him and Timothy, so they would have an open door for preaching.
Second, wise walk (Col. 4:5). As the New International Version puts it, “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.” The verb translated as “walk” in the NKJV is regularly used in the New Testament to indicate conduct. Not infrequently, it is rendered as “to live” or “to behave” (see, for instance, Mark 7:5, Rom. 13:13, and Col. 2:6 in the NIV).
Third, gracious speech (Col. 4:6). By gracious speech, Paul likely meant qualities such as courtesy, sweetness, and kindness, so as to cause a good impression on outsiders and attract them to the gospel of Jesus.
Part III: Life Application
Meditate upon the following themes. Then ask your students to answer the questions at the end of the section.
“A family is not simply a group of people dwelling under one roof. By that definition any hotel or prison could qualify. A family is not a group of people bearing the same name. Persons with the same name may live all over the nation and be total strangers. . . . Family is not simply people but a spirit of oneness. It is a spirit produced through loving and longing, laughter and tears, shared joy and sorrow, mutual struggle and respect, faith and joy and sorrow, . . . faith and faithfulness, and a common pursuit of worthy goals.”—Herschel H. Hobbs, My Favorite Illustrations (Nashville, TN: Broadman Press, 1990), p. 98. Our churches, as extensions of our homes, should be places where one can find love, comfort, respect, and a deep sense of belonging.
Jesus said, “ ‘A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another’ ” (John 13:34, 35, NKJV). The New Testament authors took this very seriously (see Rom. 13:8, Gal. 5:14, 1 Thess. 4:9, Heb. 13:1, James 2:8, 1 Pet. 1:22, 1 Pet. 4:8, 1 John 3:23, 2 John 5). As Jesus did, Paul and James also related the practice of love with fulfilling the law (see Rom. 13:8, 10; Gal. 5:14; and James 2:8). Our households should be places where everyone reveals this love through prayer, a wise walk with the Lord, and gracious speech.
Questions:
In what ways is your church an extension of your home? What can your church do to foster more of a family spirit among its members?
Our love for one another shows that we are Christ’s disciples. How can our churches and households reveal this love more fully?