Family life is tricky. We need all the help we can get. The memory text for the week implies that we must swallow our pride and “lean not unto [our] own understanding” (Prov. 3:5). Let us be honest and admit we need outside input from the Lord if we are going to be good mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters. Proverbs is a treasure trove of insight into family life; so the lesson “wisely” looks for guidance in its pages.
The creation of a family begins with two people choosing to commit to each other for a lifetime. Whether children like it or not, parents are often in a good position for advising on who would, or would not, make a good spouse. Proverbs has much about whom not to get involved with, usually designated as the forbidden woman (Prov. 2:16–19, 5:3–14, 7:4–27). But it is not difficult to apply the same principles to help to avoid the wrong man, as well. Perhaps the fact that only the “forbid- den woman” is spoken about, and not the “forbidden man,” is counter- balanced, in part, by the fact that Proverbs ends in an homage to the “virtuous woman” (Prov. 31:10–31).
Parents’ actions will have direct consequences on the characters of their children. How important it is then that their influence be prudent and measured (Prov. 15:1). Though neglecting discipline is considered ruinous for a child (Prov. 23:14), the context of the covenant is that par- ents are governed by their love for God. Under that influence, children are to be taught about the God of their fathers (Deut. 6:4–9).
Part II: Commentary
Theological Introduction
God is a risk taker. He willingly created free moral agents with the poten- tial of loving Him or wanting nothing to do with Him. In a sense, God lost His own wager. His universe rebelled. He lost His angels. He lost His humans. Worst of all, His own Son was murdered by the very ones He created. Yet, for God, it was all worth it—for the sake of having a family.
Is there any institution in existence that can possess such opposing realities as that of the family? On one hand, it can provide the apex of security and love. On the other, it can breed the deepest pain and resentment, mask the most shocking violence, and disfigure the souls of its offspring. When we start our own families, we participate in the divine risk of creating relationships. We choose a spouse, initially a total stranger to us with an unknown future, to bind our lives with forever. We have children that are “bundles of joy.” But we soon real- ize they also are bundles of potentialities in which that initial joy is either extended or terminated in pain and heartbreak. And yet we, like God, continue to merge our lives with others to create families. Why? Perhaps the lyrics of a Bob Bennett song nail a truth worth pondering: “Love is the only risk worth taking.”
When God, whose very essence is love (1 John 4:8), fashioned us in His own image (Gen. 1:26), the desire to love and be loved became indelibly etched on our natures. Though sin has wreaked such chaos in creation, even it has had difficulty erasing love as the supreme ethic within humanity. How many people on the planet could honestly say they prefer a life absent of all love? Not many. Because families are the wellspring of relational love, they are ubiquitous. God wanted it to be so (Gen. 1:28, 2:24). Familial love can lead us to hear the first whispers of God’s love for us. Ellen G. White affirms that through “the deepest and tenderest earthly ties that human hearts can know, [God] has sought to reveal Himself to us.”—Steps to Christ, p. 10.
It is no wonder, then, that the family has become a target for Satan to destroy. It is for this reason we need the multidimensional familial pictures of God as a Father and Husband (Exod. 4:22, Jer. 31:32) and Jesus as a Son, Bridegroom, and Brother (John 3:16, Mark 2:19, Rom. 8:29). In fact, any insight into the character of God (who is love) pro- vides the benchmark for us to cultivate love within our own families. The book of Proverbs is the valiant attempt of one king to hand down an inheritance of divine wisdom to his children. May his legacy result in our families reflecting God’s dream for a reunited creation—a uni- versal family, sustained by His love.
Scripture
Perhaps the single most significant lesson of the book of Proverbs is that there is a book of Proverbs. The implied message to all genera- tions is “Parents, talk to your children!” Notice when Moses spoke to Israel the commandments of God, he said that these words need to be in our hearts. Without dipping the quill a second time, he says that these words need to be in our children, too (Deut. 6:4–7). “Teach them diligently” is the way the King James translates the Hebrew shaman, which comes from either a root meaning “to repeat” (e.g., “tell them to your children, and keep on telling them” [New Jerusalem]) or a root meaning “to sharpen” or “engrave” (e.g., to teach incisively, as in “Drill them into your children” [NAB]). Both repetition and deep engraving of the commandments with regard to teaching children can fit the context.
So how should one go about sharing with children in a meaningful way (1) the wise sayings of King Solomon, (2) the thrilling stories of Israel, and (3) the commands and principles of God’s law? Going back to Deuteronomy’s repetitive engraving model of teaching, the rest of the verse could likely be telling one how to do just that. You “shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes” (Deut. 6:7, 8, ESV). Sitting, walking, lying down, and getting up are, in a figurative sense, meant to cover all the different positions and contexts one may be in during the day. These activities also cover the whole day. So, in all the diverse experiences of the entire day, Mom and Dad are simply talking (dabar), conversing, musing out loud, or even singing about God’s words. And the children listen and are changed.
But parents don’t just talk about God and His words for the kids’ sake. Remember, all the words commanded are first to be “on your heart”; that is, the heart of the parents. The idea that these words are to remain in the mind “as frontlets between [their] eyes” reinforces the heart imperative. It is what the parents are thinking about already.
But even having them in mind is not enough. If parents want their religion, and respect for the God of that religion, to be passed on to their children, then His laws need to be bound “as a sign on [their] hand.” Parents’ actions need to showcase what God’s laws look like when expressed through human life. Otherwise all the God talk will be counterproductive. As a consequence, children will sit back and appropriately be repulsed at the pageant of parental hypocrisy before their eyes.
Scripture
When the Lord commands the Passover to be kept in the new land, He takes the long view and desires the parents to be prepared when the children inquire about the ceremony (Exod. 12:26). Perhaps that is the purpose of ceremony in the first place—to generate such curiosity from our children that they start doing what every God-fearing parent hopes they will begin doing: asking questions about God and His ways.
In addition, the question the children ask may not simply be “What does this ceremony mean?” but “What does this ceremony mean to you?” (Exod. 12:26, NIV). If the latter is the case, then parents aren’t off the hook by simply giving some theoretical answer or quoting another Bible text. Children can’t see or hear God firsthand, but they watch and listen to their parents. For Mom or Dad to share experientially what God and His laws mean to them can add gravity to their answers and perhaps make for a memorable family moment. Perhaps this model is the ideal for transferring the corpus of biblical knowledge to the next genera- tion. “What does it mean?” must ideally be followed up with an answer to the question “What has this ceremony meant for me in my life?”
Part III: Life Application
The Seventh-day Adventist Church is an information-rich community. We place a premium on general biblical knowledge, prophecy, and the innumerable counsels of Ellen G. White. The church, in the spirit of Solomon to his children, is providing this week’s lesson to give insights into how to have the best family possible. Lest one feel overwhelmed with even more counsel, the scriptural sections in the Teachers Edition have been concerned with how the Bible itself gives clues to communicate godly wisdom as a heritage. It has used passages that relate primarily to children, but the principles are beneficial for all members of the family. In addition, there are texts that make similar points but say nothing of children or family (e.g., “ ‘This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it’ ” [Josh. 1:8, ESV]). Be sure to emphasize this point for singles and parents without children, lest they feel these lessons do not apply to them.
Here are some ideas on how to integrate Proverbs into family life:
Notice there are 31 chapters in the book of Proverbs—one for each day of the month. Instruct your students to read a chapter a day for their morning worship and invite everyone to share his or her favorite proverb.
2. Encourage your class members to convene their own family council in which each person in their respective families is invited to share any struggles or concerns about events in his or her life. Given that Proverbs touches on such a wide variety of topics, advise your students to see if there is a proverb or two that is related to one of the struggles shared in their family councils. Suggest that the family together might memorize a pertinent proverb.
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Family life is tricky. We need all the help we can get. The memory text for the week implies that we must swallow our pride and “lean not unto [our] own understanding” (Prov. 3:5). Let us be honest and admit we need outside input from the Lord if we are going to be good mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters. Proverbs is a treasure trove of insight into family life; so the lesson “wisely” looks for guidance in its pages.
The creation of a family begins with two people choosing to commit to each other for a lifetime. Whether children like it or not, parents are often in a good position for advising on who would, or would not, make a good spouse. Proverbs has much about whom not to get involved with, usually designated as the forbidden woman (Prov. 2:16–19, 5:3–14, 7:4–27). But it is not difficult to apply the same principles to help to avoid the wrong man, as well. Perhaps the fact that only the “forbid- den woman” is spoken about, and not the “forbidden man,” is counter- balanced, in part, by the fact that Proverbs ends in an homage to the “virtuous woman” (Prov. 31:10–31).
Parents’ actions will have direct consequences on the characters of their children. How important it is then that their influence be prudent and measured (Prov. 15:1). Though neglecting discipline is considered ruinous for a child (Prov. 23:14), the context of the covenant is that par- ents are governed by their love for God. Under that influence, children are to be taught about the God of their fathers (Deut. 6:4–9).
Part II: Commentary
Theological Introduction
God is a risk taker. He willingly created free moral agents with the poten- tial of loving Him or wanting nothing to do with Him. In a sense, God lost His own wager. His universe rebelled. He lost His angels. He lost His humans. Worst of all, His own Son was murdered by the very ones He created. Yet, for God, it was all worth it—for the sake of having a family.
Is there any institution in existence that can possess such opposing realities as that of the family? On one hand, it can provide the apex of security and love. On the other, it can breed the deepest pain and resentment, mask the most shocking violence, and disfigure the souls of its offspring. When we start our own families, we participate in the divine risk of creating relationships. We choose a spouse, initially a total stranger to us with an unknown future, to bind our lives with forever. We have children that are “bundles of joy.” But we soon real- ize they also are bundles of potentialities in which that initial joy is either extended or terminated in pain and heartbreak. And yet we, like God, continue to merge our lives with others to create families. Why? Perhaps the lyrics of a Bob Bennett song nail a truth worth pondering: “Love is the only risk worth taking.”
When God, whose very essence is love (1 John 4:8), fashioned us in His own image (Gen. 1:26), the desire to love and be loved became indelibly etched on our natures. Though sin has wreaked such chaos in creation, even it has had difficulty erasing love as the supreme ethic within humanity. How many people on the planet could honestly say they prefer a life absent of all love? Not many. Because families are the wellspring of relational love, they are ubiquitous. God wanted it to be so (Gen. 1:28, 2:24). Familial love can lead us to hear the first whispers of God’s love for us. Ellen G. White affirms that through “the deepest and tenderest earthly ties that human hearts can know, [God] has sought to reveal Himself to us.”—Steps to Christ, p. 10.
It is no wonder, then, that the family has become a target for Satan to destroy. It is for this reason we need the multidimensional familial pictures of God as a Father and Husband (Exod. 4:22, Jer. 31:32) and Jesus as a Son, Bridegroom, and Brother (John 3:16, Mark 2:19, Rom. 8:29). In fact, any insight into the character of God (who is love) pro- vides the benchmark for us to cultivate love within our own families. The book of Proverbs is the valiant attempt of one king to hand down an inheritance of divine wisdom to his children. May his legacy result in our families reflecting God’s dream for a reunited creation—a uni- versal family, sustained by His love.
Scripture
Perhaps the single most significant lesson of the book of Proverbs is that there is a book of Proverbs. The implied message to all genera- tions is “Parents, talk to your children!” Notice when Moses spoke to Israel the commandments of God, he said that these words need to be in our hearts. Without dipping the quill a second time, he says that these words need to be in our children, too (Deut. 6:4–7). “Teach them diligently” is the way the King James translates the Hebrew shaman, which comes from either a root meaning “to repeat” (e.g., “tell them to your children, and keep on telling them” [New Jerusalem]) or a root meaning “to sharpen” or “engrave” (e.g., to teach incisively, as in “Drill them into your children” [NAB]). Both repetition and deep engraving of the commandments with regard to teaching children can fit the context.
So how should one go about sharing with children in a meaningful way (1) the wise sayings of King Solomon, (2) the thrilling stories of Israel, and (3) the commands and principles of God’s law? Going back to Deuteronomy’s repetitive engraving model of teaching, the rest of the verse could likely be telling one how to do just that. You “shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes” (Deut. 6:7, 8, ESV). Sitting, walking, lying down, and getting up are, in a figurative sense, meant to cover all the different positions and contexts one may be in during the day. These activities also cover the whole day. So, in all the diverse experiences of the entire day, Mom and Dad are simply talking (dabar), conversing, musing out loud, or even singing about God’s words. And the children listen and are changed.
But parents don’t just talk about God and His words for the kids’ sake. Remember, all the words commanded are first to be “on your heart”; that is, the heart of the parents. The idea that these words are to remain in the mind “as frontlets between [their] eyes” reinforces the heart imperative. It is what the parents are thinking about already.
But even having them in mind is not enough. If parents want their religion, and respect for the God of that religion, to be passed on to their children, then His laws need to be bound “as a sign on [their] hand.” Parents’ actions need to showcase what God’s laws look like when expressed through human life. Otherwise all the God talk will be counterproductive. As a consequence, children will sit back and appropriately be repulsed at the pageant of parental hypocrisy before their eyes.
Scripture
When the Lord commands the Passover to be kept in the new land, He takes the long view and desires the parents to be prepared when the children inquire about the ceremony (Exod. 12:26). Perhaps that is the purpose of ceremony in the first place—to generate such curiosity from our children that they start doing what every God-fearing parent hopes they will begin doing: asking questions about God and His ways.
In addition, the question the children ask may not simply be “What does this ceremony mean?” but “What does this ceremony mean to you?” (Exod. 12:26, NIV). If the latter is the case, then parents aren’t off the hook by simply giving some theoretical answer or quoting another Bible text. Children can’t see or hear God firsthand, but they watch and listen to their parents. For Mom or Dad to share experientially what God and His laws mean to them can add gravity to their answers and perhaps make for a memorable family moment. Perhaps this model is the ideal for transferring the corpus of biblical knowledge to the next genera- tion. “What does it mean?” must ideally be followed up with an answer to the question “What has this ceremony meant for me in my life?”
Part III: Life Application
The Seventh-day Adventist Church is an information-rich community. We place a premium on general biblical knowledge, prophecy, and the innumerable counsels of Ellen G. White. The church, in the spirit of Solomon to his children, is providing this week’s lesson to give insights into how to have the best family possible. Lest one feel overwhelmed with even more counsel, the scriptural sections in the Teachers Edition have been concerned with how the Bible itself gives clues to communicate godly wisdom as a heritage. It has used passages that relate primarily to children, but the principles are beneficial for all members of the family. In addition, there are texts that make similar points but say nothing of children or family (e.g., “ ‘This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it’ ” [Josh. 1:8, ESV]). Be sure to emphasize this point for singles and parents without children, lest they feel these lessons do not apply to them.
Here are some ideas on how to integrate Proverbs into family life:
2. Encourage your class members to convene their own family council in which each person in their respective families is invited to share any struggles or concerns about events in his or her life. Given that Proverbs touches on such a wide variety of topics, advise your students to see if there is a proverb or two that is related to one of the struggles shared in their family councils. Suggest that the family together might memorize a pertinent proverb.