I didn’t want to marry my husband because I was raised a Seventh-day Adventist and he belonged to another Christian denomination in southern Taiwan. But our parents wanted us to get married, and we had to obey them.
So, I told my future husband, Ming-Huang Wu, “We can get married, but I will not change my religion.” He didn’t have a problem with that.
But then we started to discuss the wedding. I wanted it to be held in an Adventist church, but he said, “No! I am the husband, so it should be in my church.”
I tried to find a compromise. “Let’s have the wedding outside then, not in any church,” I said. “But an Adventist pastor must officiate at the wedding.”
We argued back and forth. Finally, I said, “If it is not an Adventist pastor, then I will not marry you.” He asked his mother for advice, and she gave permission for an Adventist pastor. But she had secret plans. She thought that I would join her faith after the wedding. She also wanted me to change her son, who drank.
I remained uncomfortable with the idea of marrying outside my faith, and I told this to Ming-Huang. But by that point the whole village knew about the wedding. If we called it off, we would lose face. Ming-Huang became an Adventist so he wouldn’t lose face. A month before the wedding, he took Bible studies and was baptized. I’ll never forget that day. He wept as he came out of the water because he wanted to get married, but he didn’t want to leave his old life of drinking.
Ming-Huang was a beaten man. He lost a great deal of self-esteem by marrying me. During the first seven months of our marriage, I also fed him healthy food and taught him how to live a healthy lifestyle. Our neighbors noticed that he wasn’t the same. “You’re a new man,” they said.
Ming-Huang, however, didn’t want to be a new man. After our daughter was born, he returned to drinking.
Ten years passed, and we had a second daughter. We had many conflicts over faith. One day it was too much, and I took the two children, our baby and 10-year-old girl, to the home of friends. I wanted my husband to be alone in the house and to get a taste of what divorce would be like.
Ming-Huang didn’t want a divorce. He looked for me for three days and, when he found me, changed his ways. He truly became a new man.
Today, he is a caring husband and father. He also is a church elder. However, I wouldn’t follow this “missionary” path again. I married him because I thought I could change him with God’s help. But the Bible is right when it says, “Do not be unequally yoked” (1 Cor. 6:14, NKJV). It’s better to marry a spouse of your own faith. Solomon, the world’s wisest man, learned this lesson the hard way. Me too.